About Maddy

When I consider where life has taken me, it all comes back to experience, and belief.

I think a lot of people see that I offer intuitive readings, and therefore assume that I have spiritual beliefs, but that's not entirely accurate. If you asked me about myself, I would say that I have had incredibly meaningful spiritual experiences. And what I believe about those experiences is something that I am still trying to understand.

Growing up, I was curious about the spiritual nature of reality. I couldn't describe this desire or feeling at the time, I just knew that I was missing something important. The world felt superficial; the people around me appeared unquestioning. I wanted answers. I was seeking validation, not the type that comes from counselling or therapy, but the type that comes from looking into a mirror. When people discuss spirituality, they talk about yoga and meditation and hippy trips to Asia.

That's all well and good, but that's not what happened to me.

I originally had my first tarot reading when I was 19.

I hadn't planned on getting my cards read that Summer, as I had been preoccupied with a different issue: somebody had roofied me on my last day of University. Even though I confronted the person who assaulted me, they denied it.

I was a pretty ballsy 19-year-old, and I wanted to square up with the man who did it in person. As I was heading towards his apartment, I spotted a sign on the street: $30 TAROT CARD READINGS. I was working in retail, and I thought, huh, I can afford that. So I changed my plans on a whim.

I went inside. I asked the reader if he could tell me if somebody was lying to me. To my surprise, he said yes.

And that is the moment that my life changed.

What happened that day are naturally between me, the reader, and the cards. What mattered most is that the reader validated my intuition. He was the first person to tell me, "You don't deserve that... you deserve to be treated in the best possible way."

Something shifted within me after that incident. I started trusting myself.

That year, I had searched for help within the system— psychologists, and members of law enforcement— and I had been incredibly discouraged. I was searching hopelessly for assistance.

It was not the system that helped me. It was a random psychic on the street who backed me and explained the situation from a higher perspective, one that I could not try to comprehend at the time.

The reading shifted my life. I started focusing on my creative goals, chasing my personal ambitions, and began standing up for myself more. Less than two years later, I was teed up to become the department representative for the literature students.

me circa 2016

And so, I left university. Intuitively, I felt that I was being pulled inside-out from my entire existence, but I knew that I had no other choice. My intuition was booming at me to leave.

Before dropping out of university, I was studying English literature and creative writing. I was highly ambitious; originally, I had been gunning for an Honours degree. And I was fascinated by the process of close reading, which is a necessary skill for any literary major. It involves taking a deeper look at a specific element of a piece of writing, and contrasting it against a larger literary backdrop.

A good close reading will surprise you. It will force you to question your original assumptions and make connections between a small part of a work and a larger whole. For instance, well-written novels include clever plot-twists. Upon closer inspection, the real twist isn't in the events of the narrative itself, but a twist in the perception of the reader.

In literary studies, a close reading is incredibly similar to a psychic reading. Both involve pattern recognition, strong creative and analytical instincts, an interest in symbolic thinking, and a search for a deeper meaning behind the mess. A psychic reading can shift your entire paradigm.

The Summer I turned 21, I realized life was a narrative that could be 'read' in a similar way. It was also something you were actively and subconsciously creating, like a piece of creative writing.

If I could describe a spiritual awakening, well, I might use words like 'interconnectedness,' talk about chakras, or discuss free will versus fate. But a spiritual awakening is untranslatable.

My time with English literature had expired. There's a lot more in the world out there besides what lies within the mind, inside the system, or behind a page. Leaving was destined, in a way. I lost the degree; I gained a deeper understanding of reality.

It felt like an ending, which, naturally, meant that it was a beginning.

Shortly after leaving the system, I submitted an experimental short story about my personal experience, from the very beginning. It got nominated for the CBC Short Story Prize.

My biggest, most unattainable dream had become realized. None of it would have happened without that original reading.

I'm turning 29 this year. I'm around the same age as the man that roofied me all those years ago. I have been considering this life experience a lot. And if I want to sum it up, I'll say that it's all been about experience and belief.

So many of our beliefs are shaped by our life experiences. And so many of our life experiences cannot be held by shallow, or self-serving, beliefs. This is a huge point of contention for me, and why I made this silly website.

I have learned about what motivates people, about how the Universe operates, and what it means to truly feel, by following my gut and being open and curious about spirituality. And yet at the same time, I am also interested in other people's experiences, and their interpretations of said experiences. I started a series of interviews with spiritual authors for this particular reason.

I've been reading Tarot for about a decade. About a year-and-a-half ago, my intuition kicked into overdrive and I started reading for others. It's been something of a full-circle moment to be on the other side of the curtain. I often think about that first reading, and I wonder if I will ever be able to offer that shift in perspective for somebody else.

So yeah. My name is Maddy, I am 28, this is my website. Leave a message.

This has turned into an insanely long-winded piece. So I guess I'll leave it here: be open to what life has to offer, as in a single moment, everything can change.

And then, things fell apart.

At the time, the public narrative around sexual assault was shifting. As the department representative, I was on a mission. It wasn't about grades or academic policies. The person who originally roofied me was a member of staff at the University of Calgary, and I wanted redemption. This was about more than just a degree. I wasn't determined; I was determination.

You will always find what you seek. That Summer, the July I turned 21, the Universe opened a door. Around the time I was facing intense confrontation with members of the University regarding an issue with a specific member of staff, I wandered into a New Age store, and got hired on a whim. And my entire world opened up.

Everything that I had been searching for (without realizing), all the unspoken questions, every feeling, every connection that I had ever made, all of it started coming together. All the books and the crystals and the psychics, all of the elements of my new job, were strengthening something that I had felt for a very long time

My issues with a specific professor started snowballing into a bigger issue. The person I had been in the past would have backed down. But my metaphysical experiences bolstered my confidence in my gut feeling. I had faith in myself. And when the system pushed me to bend, I didn't.

About Maddy

When I consider where life has taken me, it all comes back to experience, and belief.

That's all well and good, but that's not what happened to me.

I originally had my first tarot reading when I was 19.

I hadn't planned on getting my cards read that Summer, as I had been preoccupied with a different issue: somebody had roofied me on my last day of University. Even though I confronted the person who assaulted me, they denied it.

I was a pretty ballsy 19-year-old, and I wanted to square up with the man who did it in person. As I was heading towards his apartment, I spotted a sign on the street: $30 TAROT CARD READINGS. I was working in retail, and I thought, huh, I can afford that. So I changed my plans on a whim.

I went inside. I asked the reader if he could tell me if somebody was lying to me. To my surprise, he said yes.

And that is the moment that my life changed.

What happened that day are naturally between me, the reader, and the cards. What mattered most is that the reader validated my intuition. He was the first person to tell me, "You don't deserve that... you deserve to be treated in the best possible way."

Something shifted within me after that incident. I started trusting myself.

That year, I had searched for help within the system— psychologists, and members of law enforcement— and I had been incredibly discouraged. I was searching hopelessly for assistance.

It was not the system that helped me. It was a random psychic on the street who backed me and explained the situation from a higher perspective, one that I could not try to comprehend at the time.

The reading shifted my life. I started focusing on my creative goals, chasing my personal ambitions, and began standing up for myself more. Less than two years later, I was teed up to become the department representative for the literature students.

And so, I left university. Intuitively, I felt that I was being pulled inside-out from my entire existence, but I knew that I had no other choice. My intuition was booming at me to leave.

In literary studies, a close reading is incredibly similar to a psychic reading. Both involve pattern recognition, strong creative and analytical instincts, an interest in symbolic thinking, and a search for a deeper meaning behind the mess. A psychic reading can shift your entire paradigm.

The Summer I turned 21, I realized life was a narrative that could be 'read' in a similar way. It was also something you were actively and subconsciously creating, like a piece of creative writing.

If I could describe a spiritual awakening, well, I might use words like 'interconnectedness,' talk about chakras, or discuss free will versus fate. But a spiritual awakening is untranslatable.

My time with English literature had expired. There's a lot more in the world out there besides what lies within the mind, inside the system, or behind a page. Leaving was destined, in a way. I lost the degree; I gained a deeper understanding of reality.

It felt like an ending, which, naturally, meant that it was a beginning.

Shortly after leaving the system, I submitted an experimental short story about my personal experience, from the very beginning. It got nominated for the CBC Short Story Prize.

My biggest, most unattainable dream had become realized. None of it would have happened without that original reading.

I'm turning 29 this year. I'm around the same age as the man that roofied me all those years ago. I have been considering this life experience a lot. And if I want to sum it up, I'll say that it's all been about experience and belief.

So many of our beliefs are shaped by our life experiences. And so many of our life experiences cannot be held by shallow, or self-serving, beliefs. This is a huge point of contention for me, and why I made this silly website.

So yeah. My name is Maddy, I am 28, this is my website. Leave a message.

This has turned into an insanely long-winded piece. So I guess I'll leave it here: be open to what life has to offer, as in a single moment, everything can change.

And then, things fell apart.

My issues with a specific professor started snowballing into a bigger issue. The person I had been in the past would have backed down. But my metaphysical experiences bolstered my confidence in my gut feeling. I had faith in myself. And when the system pushed me to bend, I didn't.

fortunespelling@gmail.com